Some decisions are just plain hard.
My friend once told me that when it comes to making decisions, I have the mind of a squirrel. Recently she sent me a quote from the internet that said
“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make up their minds.” (Unknown)
The irony of this is, far too often I struggle with deciding and when I really think about why, it comes down to one thing… Fear.
Fear of making the wrong decision is at the top of the list. All sorts of things go through my head… If I choose this, so-and-so won’t be happy… But if I choose this I will feel selfish. Or what would my mom, friends, or family think? A lot of which brings me to the idea that I am an approval seeker. Often, I will find myself breaking my own boundaries on decisions just to appease those around me.
Not long ago my friend and I were bike riding together and a squirrel started out across our path. When it had made it about 95% of the way across, my friend shouted, “Hey!” When the squirrel heard her, he immediately turned around and scurried back the other way. How often is it that after I make a decision, I can hear the words of someone else and begin to doubt… as if my decision is not credible enough?
Others can give great insight on things I need help with, but it is still important that I carefully examine my own heart and decide for myself. I could become dependent on others for discernment or I could take things to God and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me.
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to give me the confidence to make decisions for myself but only through your Holy Spirit. I thank you that your grace is with me even when I doubt my decisions and when I change my mind. Father please allow my decisions to be true and honest and not for approval of men. I want to be wise and know that no matter what decisions I make, good or bad, all things will work together for your purpose. Amen.