Sometimes I think I can conjure up some sort of happy feeling or get a reward by spending time with God. While, certainly, I find it beneficial, I can do it as if it is a duty or something that I have to grab on my way out… like rubbing the rabbit’s foot or something. It is as if there is some magic formula that will make my day go well. I can even imagine being calm and loving to people at work even before I get there because of it. The thing is…when I do that, I am really just using time with God as an antidote for perfection. That’s just skimming over the top and expecting to get the goodness from the bottom of the cup.
When I rush into my time with God or grab some of him quickly on my way to wherever I am going that’s just love on the surface. If I get any kind of brief satisfaction from it, I skip merrily on my way soon forgetting what he gave me.
The truth is, God isn’t interested in just what’s on the surface. He wants to go deep. And when I really think about it, that’s what I want too. Because if I grab a quick cup of Him in a hurry, most of what I get splashes out as I try and hold on to it skurrying about my day.
This is a world of instant gratification and quick fixes, but I can choose to get to know God for who He is instead of trying to get something from him. I truly want to experience this relationship I have with Him in a deeper authentic way. After all, it is my most important relationship.
I think about the lasting friendships I have with others. What makes them so good? It’s the communication, the deep intimate draw we have with each other. We want to get to know each other so we can see inside each other’s hearts. What good is a relationship on the surface? It’s a conversation like this… “Hey, how are you?”…”I’m fine, how are you?”… “Good”… “Have a nice day.” I imagine that’s not what God wants from me.
A friend once explained intimacy to me like this… Intimacy means ‘in-to-me’… I’m not talking about a physical intimacy, I’m talking about a personal relationship. For someone to really get to know me, they need to seek inside my heart (in-to-me) for who I really am. And the same goes for me if I want to know someone else. The same goes for my relationship with my Heavenly Father. That is what the difference is between religion and relationship.
Father, I thank you that you are always with me. Even when I grab just a little bit of you on my way. Help me to be still and dig deeper into you so I can be satisfied… Not just as some magic fix to my day… But a deep abiding relationship that requires assurance of your presence every day. You already know my heart as deep as it can get. I want to reach below the surface into your heart so I can know the fullness of you too. In Jesus’ name. Amen.